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July, 2009:

St. Thomas

November 2001 just a few months after 9/11.

Talk about a scary time to be on a plane.  Everyone cheered as we landed safe in San Juan before our short prop plane flight to the island of St. Thomas.  We had to run to our transfer because we were delayed leaving chicago.  They were calling our names when we finally made it to the gate.  And on top of that, the prop plane flight, the smallest plane we were ever on, had to fly in dark stormy weather…fun!

duffys2

J&B advised us to pack a carryon because from their experience your luggage was often times delayed when flying between islands.  Sure enough our main luggage didn’t make it but fortunately we packed some necessary items; i.e. our swimsuits.

I think vegas was our first vacation, but this was the first of many outside the states.  Although I went to Valpo with B we didn’t become friends until we were out of school and we even missed their wedding because we didn’t really start hanging out until shortly thereafter.  If I remember correctly, they pretty much just threw out an open invite to the vacation and we were like hey, we’ll go.  It turned out to be just them and us, an odd pairing at the time, but nearly 10 years later the friendship is still very much intact.  In fact we each have two kids.  They had a boy first and then a girl…us the opposite…and 4 months, almost exactly, separate each pair of kids.   To this day we still talk about some of our times there.

snorklingWe went sailing and took in some snorkeling.  B rented a car and we drove around st. thomas and st. john islands, nearly hitting a pig or two along the way.  We also snorkeled at that beach on st. john … amazingly clear water and equally amazing scenery.  We drank those volcano drinks at that random restaurant we happened to stop at for dinner.  Wasn’t it an all-u-can-drink event at the hotel that made it an early night for at least one of us after that same person got up off the chair and made a halfass effort at diving into the pool?  Good thing someone was there to catch her:)  I believe what followed was a cold shower and some microwave mac & cheese in the hotel room. 

100-0031_IMG(The first of MANY self portraits … we’ve gotten pretty good at this)  And oh yeah, and didn’t we almost buy a timeshare??  It sounded awesome at the time and we had the paperwork sitting there right in front of us.  I can’t remember which one of us balked or if it was something else that got us out of there, but thankfully we didn’t go through with it.  Although I think we got a bottle or two of rum for sitting down with them.

 On our way home, half our luggage was liquor…6 bottles a piece I believe.   Passoa (I think that’s how you spell it … I can’t believe I still remember the name) was top on the list of favorites.

beach3And then there was shopping … where we bought our first digital camera.  For some reason we felt that we each needed to buy one.  Maybe that’s because we were early on in the relationship and weren’t quite sure where things were headed.  Is this the camera that one of us eventually lost?  I think so.  Needless-to-say, this was the beginning of many great things to come.

I choose … business ethics

If you quote me one price and less than two weeks later quote me a higher price, you’re not going to get my business.  Does it really cost this much to fill out some forms??? 

On top of that, everyone has a different opinion about what to do when it comes to estate planning … a will, a trust (revocable or irrevocable), a 529 plan … the list goes on.   I mean, I know what I want, is it too hard to just get a simple answer and for everyone to be on the same page??  It’s going to take [this lawyer] maybe 8 hours to fill out these forms and [the lawyer’s] hourly rate is some $250 so that’s going to be … $2000+.  WTF!  Should i just use legal zoom?  Can’t I just fill out these forms myself?  So, a trust is a little more complicated and perhaps incurs additional costs but a will for $950?  Legal zoom lists it’s price for a will and power of attorney at < $200.  And they’ll do a trust for ~ $200…so let me see, < $400 with legal zoom or $2000+ with a lawyer.  Hmmm!

Holidays are tough but…

…for me, sitting there watching my ‘lil girl chat up a storm and knowing that her mom won’t be around to experience this is even tougher.

The other holidays are certainly going to be hard…halloween, thanksgiving, her b-day, and christmas (for sure!).  But that’s kinda become the norm…every minute, every hour and every day are a challenge but somehow we’re making it through.

The weather on the 4th was blah, but it was nice on the 3rd & 5th.  She would have loved being on the boat with us on Friday, watching the grant park fireworks from the water, she would have absolutely loved it.  I can’t say the same thing for Maggie though as she’ll be taking some dramamine next time.  Even though the weather on the 4th was overcast, we still brought Ellie out to the beach.  The neighbors down the dock let her borrow a bucket and some shovels.  As I was about to take out the shovels I noticed something at the bottom of the bucket … a single dime.   How many times have we found a single dime sitting there in the most random of locations?  At the bottom of this sand toy of all places!   Is she really still here with us, in all these places?  I hope so, we hope so…really hope so.

We capped off the extended weekend at Jack Gibbon’s (the food was fantastic as usual … thanks Amy!) and it was great to see all the ladies and to show off both the kids for a bit.  The pretzel bread, those appetizers, the fat tire … we were full before the salads even came!

Just breaks my heart

The last couple days have been particularly difficult.  I don’t know why these happen to be any harder, maybe in fact they are exactly the same and I don’t really realize it.

So I’m by myself right now and Ellie woke up from her nap, I had to change her and she asked for lotion.  I said, it’s been a while since we’ve put on lotion, hasn’t it?  I said, remember how Mommy would put lotion on you?  She said yes.  I said, do you miss Mommy?  She said yes.  And I said I do too.  Then she said something that really got me.  She said something about because Mommy was crying.  What does that mean, I ask her.  She didn’t respond and instead went on to talk about putting on more lotion.  But of course that makes me think…what in the world could that have meant.  Does it relate to the accident or is it just another memory?  It was so hard to keep my composure.  I could barely even talk. 

 Too bad we don’t have the innocence of a child.