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October, 2011:

Friday Night …

It’s friday night and I just finished watching the better part of a Pearl Jam documentary on channel 11 … the channel that happened to be on the TV when I turned it on, the same channel the kids were watching their cartoons on this morning

What a Friday night! 😉

However, had our lives not been throw down this other path I would have to guess that tonight wouldn’t be all that different.  A Friday night on the couch, kids in bed, a movie, probably popcorn, a couple glasses of wine …

It was weird, watching that pearl jam documentary, how it made me think where I was at those points in my life.  Where I was in ’90 when the lead singer of Mother Love Bone, Andy Wood, died.  I didn’t even know of this band until tonight.  But they rocked.  I was in 6th grade.  By 92 they Pearl Jam was a Woodstock.  Just before I started High School.  Did I even know them?  In 2001 they played their 10 year anniversary show in Vegas.  I def knew them by then, why have I never seen these guys in concert?  They highlighted concerts in just about every year and for some reason tonight it just made me think about where I was at those points in time.  When they mentioned a show in Oct of 2009 … cari was already gone … 🙁

So why am I writing tonight?  I don’t know.  I’ve just really been neglecting this thing.  I do have plenty of  stuff going on but recently received some decent news so maybe I can ignore all that for a little.  My job seems like it has so much potential, just waiting for things to happen … it’s going to happen, right?  Like in the next year mabye????

Tonight we went to a kids halloween thing at the children’s museum.  On the way home E cried from GS.  She insisted we go to her house.  🙁  I didn’t give in.  Eventually she fell asleep.  Sometimes I wonder what makes her like that.  Whether or not I should give in to her desires.  I think I’m doing the right thing.

Kids halloween costumes are cute.  She’s a princess/fairy … go figure.  He has two costumes, a pilot costume from costco … kind of a just in case costume … but he’s really going to be a Lion.  Hopefully we’ll do Boo @ the Zoo tomorrow and put good use to these things.  Weather looks decent so I think it’s a go.

I renewed my passport, at least it’s in the process of being renewed.  I’m going on vacation.  At least that’s the plan.  I need one SO bad.  And I want one.  Caribbean somewhere.  Probably the bahamas or the caymans. 

Oh yeah, there’s also that person, I don’t know who she is, that happened to write on her blog and ping my site.  Supposedly she knew Cari.  Why was I thinking so much about our life tonight and then at that same time did someone write about her???  Hmmm…

E has a new friend in preschool.  Same name without the ‘i’.  They’re super cute together.  I met the girls p’s the other day.  It’s taken two+ years to meet someone else in the area.  We had just started to meet people when the roof came down.  It felt really good to meet these peeps.  They’re super cool and totally people who I guarantee we would have been friends with …

Words of a 4 year old

When another 4 year old asked her where her mom was, she responded…

She’s in heaven.  She was crossing the street, she was hit by a car, she died. 🙁

Later tonight we talked a little about that conversation.

It wasn’t unlike some of the other conversations we’ve had

I miss Mommy.  I want her to come back from heaven.  Tears.

She remembers