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November, 2014:

One of the many things to worry about

The list seems endless

As a parent you know your children

You know what they like to eat

You know the places they are most ticklish

You know all their ins & outs

Perhaps that changes as they grow older, but that’s how things are now 😉

He’s been coughing for about a week now.

Coughs, ugh, they seem to last for weeks …

I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve had to argue against giving them cough medicine.  Countless times …

Do you want to know how many times I’ve given them cough medicine?  0 … that’s ZERO.

He’s 5, she’s 7 … they’ve coughed a bunch and I’ve never given them cough medicine.

And guess what, they’re fine

I’m saying this not because I’m firmly against any type of cough medicine

I’m saying this because I know what works when they have coughs and it simply does not involve cough medicine

And what I do with them works.  Tonight’s a perfect example … no cough medicine and he’s sleeping fine.  I think their coughs are harder on the ones that have to listen to the coughs, not the ones that are actually doing the cough … maybe???

Anyways, so back to the point of this post …

I really truly believe that I know these kids

And what troubles me is will someone else, should something ever happen to me, also “know” these kids

Will they do what I did tonight?

Or will they choose to do what they “think” is right for the kids?

Will they give them cough medicine?

Or will they

– Put them in a warm steamy shower
– Get them into bed early
– Cover their chest and feet with vicks
– Turn on a humidifier and keep the door nearly closed
– Sleep with them all night

Well maybe they’ll do some of those, I surely hope so…

But who is that person, who’s that person who will do all these things, who’s that person who will come to know all the in’s and out’s of these two amazing children

I know maybe I shouldn’t worry about this stuff but I do

Who know’s all the foods that my picky little eater will eat?

Who will introduce as many new foods to her as possible and continue to introduce new foods even though she might turn down 99% of them?

Who will not get upset when that happens and will keep doing it because he / she loves her so much?

And who will get excited when that 1 time she actually eats it and loves it (like mini-beef taco’s from trader joe’s … a recent win!)

I don’t know …

I just look at tonight and worry

He’s not feeling well, but I’m here and I’m caring for him and couldn’t imagine doing anything else

Who would ever do all this the same exact way I’m doing things, or do things even better than me?

I guess I don’t know who that person is and that’s why I worry

I know though that if anything ever were to happen that they’d be in the hands of people who love them, that’s a guarantee

I don’t, however, know that they will be raised the same way.  I pretty much doubt it.  I imagine any parent might feel that way.

… that no one could ever raise their children like they do …

And then onto a related topic …

Today was Ellis Island day at her school.  I signed up to be an inspector.  I’m pretty sure every parent was at the event, but only a handful volunteered.

She was really excited to have me there.  It was a lot of fun!

I’m fortunate to have the opportunity to do things like this

I wonder if things would be different.  Would Cari do things like this?  Would I still be involved?

Hmm … I guess we’ll never know … will we?? :(((

I know I’m not perfect.  I would never say I am.  I do things that I regret but I always try to better myself.

When something doesn’t work … oops, let’s not do that again

I don’t like yelling and try not to but it happens because they often times don’t want to listen

But then I say to myself well that didn’t work … ugh

But it’s not always easy to find those things that do work

Kids are tough!  Life is tough!

I don’t think I’ll ever be confident that there’s another person out there that would raise the kids the way I would raise them

But fortunately I have a couple amazing children and I know that they will always be okay 😉 and that’s comforting …