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April, 2010:

Our Closet

Worked late tonight.  Well more like sat at my desk and didn’t do anything for an extra 4+ hours.  I’m not so sure why I decided it was necessary to be there.  I mean, there sort of was a reason but … anyways

So I got home late.  The kids stayed at Grandma’s.  Last night the same thing. 

Last night I thought maybe I would take care of one of my million tasks.  Instead I fell asleep on the couch.

Tonight, home later, but somewhat-sorta-motivated to do something. 

So I attacked the closet.

It was very SAD

Except for my stuff it’s remained unchanged, unaltered.  I’m afraid removing the stuff will impact my lil girl.  That was one reason I left it as it.  The other being that it’s just one of those tasks I would rather put off…forever!  I guess we’ll see how she does with it.

Months ago I found these vacuum storage bags at costco.  The box has been sitting at the entrance to the closet ever since.

But tonight I did it.  So many times I wanted to stop.  But I kept going.  I knew that if I stopped I would just have to get back to it again. 

So all her clothes are now packaged away.  It was not a fun activity.  It doesn’t feel good to have removed it from my list.  It didn’t feel much different keeping everything in there, having to see it each and every day 🙁  It was lose-lose

Eleven … :(

Who’s counting anyways?  Even though I knew it was yet another month today, a morning msg from a friend, although kind, was just the reminder I didn’t really want

So after a morning that seemed to drag along and a night of broken sleep I hope to soon forget, I got a phone call

It was my daughter.  She sounded so grown up and articulate, for a 3 yr old…  I didn’t even know it was her at first.  She had big news for daddy.  She was so excited.  And as weird as it seemed after the fact I was pretty excited for her too.  She pooped on the toilet!   That’s BIG news.  A huge milestone for her.  And she really was just over the top w/excitement.  It brought out a “real” smile in me too. 

So, just another reason to talk “poop”.  Seems like it enters the conversation more than it should.  And I’m not sure if it’s because of kids or because it seems to be such an entertaining topic

One of my top 10 pet peeves … people whispering to each other in an office setting.  Grow the f#$% up!  I’ve become less and less of a fan of a particular person in the organization.  She thinks she’s on a pedestal and acts like she can assert authority on anyone even though her position is far from someone of that stature.  I think she’s 2-faced.  And I’m not a big fan of interoffice b.s. … secret telling or whispering, whatever the intention, is ultra-childish and irritating. (p.s. this just happened so it’s fresh on my mind and needed to bitch about it)

But not to take away from my daughter’s accomplishments today … woo hoo!

And of course back to what today is … #11.  I had some crazy weird-ass dreams last night.  Of course I can’t remember much of what they were about.  My allergies, I think, were driving me nuts last night.  My nose was SO stuffed.  I probably used half a box of tissue.  E woke up crying and then C.  It was a long night.  So what was I dreaming about anyways … I have no clue

And today … just another day.  11 months older … feels like 11 years.  Still so fresh.  Still so unbelievable.  The world moves on.  Thrown under the sheets or whatever you want to call it.  It just plain sucks!


I don’t know … breakfast just seemed to mean something special

We didn’t always have the time / energy to make something up after the kids came.  And definitely once we had 2 going out to breakfast wasn’t high on our list.  But living in the city, especially on weekends, we would hit up any number of breakfast or brunch places (Mitchells’ on Clybourn, Heavan on Seven, Kitschn’ On Roscoe, Hillary’s Urban Eatery … the list is long). 

Bacon on the George Foreman grill was by far our favorite.  Maybe more mine at first but who doesn’t like bacon???!!!

It’s probably bad to admit be her and I together would on occasion polish off a whole package of thin-sliced oscar meyer bacon.  But it had to be thin, it had to be oscar meyer and it had to be cooked on the george foreman grill.  Just something about it made it oh-so-good

I haven’t made any since, even though some times I do crave it.  Just one of those things I would rather go without (like popcorn on the stove … )

So what I wanted to say …

Ever since I have had more time at home I do try to make a meal out of breakfast for the kids whenever possible.  I’m not a huge fan of consistency when it comes to meals.  Cereal every morning is a bore.  I don’t even get the same coffee at starbucks all the time (probably because I drink it so much I’m going to puke if I drink much more).  So I try to mix it up.

Over the past two days the breakfasts I’ve made, in my opinion, have simply been amazing (maybe amazing is a bit much, but pretty damn good).  I don’t know what it is but I’ve kind of amazed myself.  While at the same time TOTALLY missing Cari and so wanting her to be there too…so that instead of writing crap here I would simply be enjoying it with her.

I make these healthy choice pancakes (although they might not be so healthy after I add an extra egg and use whole milk instead of skim)

She was a “cook” in training.  She was easily discouraged when something didn’t come out just right.  But pancakes were her deal.  Of all the things I would cook, I was worst at making pancakes so she took over the job.

I’ve definitely gotten better though.  But this past Wednesday, when I think for the 1st time made blueberry pancakes (just because I happened to have some blueberries in the fridge), they turned out to be so delicious.  I think some of the tastiness has to do with the whole milk but this time the blueberries really added to the flavor.  Go me (well E too because she helped)!! 

And then today.  Same sort of thing.  I’m not a huge egg fan but I’ve been making scrambled eggs 1-2 times a week because c-baby will eat them too.

Again I don’t know what it is … but it may be that whole milk thing again.  Or that plus a couple slices of (can’t-think-of-the-brand) sliced cheese.  Whatever it is, once again I amazed myself.  Oh man it was so good. 

But … it still just isn’t the same 🙁

Taxes …

First off … I just absolutely @#$% hate that this happened to us.  There’s just so much we should be doing together right now, too much to mention, too much to think about … it just SUCKS!  🙁

Filing taxes, btw, is no fun at all.  I have to dig into a bunch of information that I would have rather left untouched.  I didn’t even bother trying to find anything that listed clothes we might have donated prior to May (something she kept track of).  If it’s somewhere I’ll run across it eventually but I would rather skip the deduction.

Anyways, I just needed to bitch about this … she was the person who would have listened to me complain (although I certainly would have been complaining about something other than this particular topic)

Just missin u … E misses u.  She asks almost daily for you to come home.  She watches video of you.  It just isn’t fair

My Picky Eater

He eats everything, she just won’t.

Yesterday went to J&B’s for lunch.  They asked me what they would eat.  The answer for him is easy, for her I just never know.  He polished off a hot dog before the rest of us were finished with ours. 

Yesterday morning I made her a full plate of options, she didn’t eat any of it.

Today the results were similar.

We had pizza last night so this morning she asked for it again.  I finally caved.  She ate the whole piece (and now wants more)

Pasta/Cheesy, Pizza, Chicky … and a range of random snacks & fruit.  OJ & Apple juice too but hardly any dairy products … milk drinking ended with the removal of the bottle.  (I supposed there’s dairy in pizza so maybe it’s not all that bad)

So I guess it’s pizza for breakfast until I figure out something else.