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October, 2009:

Scrapbooking

Cari did it for almost everything.  I sometimes helped but she did 90% of everything we have.  She was really creative even though she never would admit it.  She did the 1st 12 months for E but she wasn’t able to get to it for C.  So it’s been on my list of things to do.  It’s one of those things I think about often but I know it’s a lot of work.

But last week I started.  I got through our time at the hospital when C was born.  And it took me like 3 hours.  At least it was something to do since I’m not all that busy at work.  As it turns out I would rather be doing that stuff than doing anything work related anyways.  It’s hard to go through the pictures though.  It’s a very real reminder of what we lost.  But this is something she would have done.  So this is something that I will do for him and for her.

Brrrrrrrrrr

It’s Oct 1st and like 50 degrees out.  It’s seriously cold.  Why do we live in Chicago?  At least I can be thankful for pumpkin spiced latte’s at Starbucks.  Pumpkin flavor … not a fav of Cari’s but I dig it … especially pumpkin pie.

Anyways

Do we really need flu shots?  I think it’s just a craze.  Do I need to put drugs in my body that don’t guarantee missing the flu?  What about the kids?  Do they need it?  I had the flu last spring.  For the first time in as long as I can remember.  It sucked.  I probably got half the office sick too.  The kids got sick but somehow Cari avoided it.  It was right around when C was born and both he and E picked up something similar.  But for me it was horrible.  I couldn’t even leave the bed.  So should I get a shot that doesn’t guarantee anything … probably not.

My real estate woes continue.  One leak fixed and another one started.  But I think it’s fixed now.  Half the drywall is up but I still need to put in a few smaller pieces, tape, and paint.  That’s a lot of work, btw.  Is the really a rat in the basement?  I can’t wait to knock the thing down…or sell it

I had to tell someone new about my loss this morning.  That’s never any fun at all.  And they never seem to know how to respond … it’s such an unexpected topic

I’m overwhelmed. 

I just want everything to be easy.

I miss u.