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October 19th, 2009:

Remembering…Cancun

When I decided to take some time today to pick a vacation and blog about it, I didn’t realize that I would be going through some 400 pictures from this particular week in Mexico. 

There were a ton of memories and somehow I had to pick & choose out of those 400 pictures the ones I want to display here.   Not an easy task.

It is just about 5 years ago to the day that we took this vaca.  Cancun is such a fun place, btw.  Just have to watch what you eat & drink because you might end up spending a good part of the day on the toilet.  Little did I realize there would be a bit of foreshadowing on this particular vaca.

We became pretty good at the self-shots over the years.  We’re a little pale here because it’s day 1 and the weather, as you can see, kind of stinks.  I’m also not too excited about the double-chin action … but nobody is perfect.

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We got some sun in the morn and headed out to find something to do before we hit up the bars.  Cari would rather be at the pool tho I’m sure.

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Cari took this picture.  I didn’t know ahead of time that her day with Christine was going to involve some future wedding planning.  She probably had this on her agenda all along.  They went to the moon palace, riviera maya and just happened to be witness to this wedding in progress.  Not even two years later we found ourselves at this very same spot.  Except for the fact that this gazebo was somewhere in the middle of the caribean sea due to a hurricane that sat over the yucatan for a good two days prior to our wedding. 

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This horse-drawn carriage probably sealed the deal for Cari.  We didn’t have quite the same experience because of the Hurricane but she still got to ride in the carriage at least part of the way to our beachfront ceremony

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And then things got a little crazy.  This is one of the only semi-appropriate pictures I could use

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Snorkeling anyone?  Cari wanted nothing to do with this.  That is a lot of fish.  She freaked and didn’t even go in. 

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But at least we got dressed as if we were going to go in.  We were hot, weren’t we?

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She wanted me to go see THE gazebo.  We weren’t engaged at the time but she knew I was the one.  There was no question in her mind.  I was still a little apprehensive but I wasn’t going anywhere.

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See … I’m just playing

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We usually managed to find a little creature walking around in its shell almost every vacation we took

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Then it was time to party some more. 

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Our visit to Chicheniza (sp?) … we just called it Chicken Pizza (or maybe that’s what the guide called it)

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Definitely one of my favorite pictures … top 10 probably

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And then it’s time to go back to chilly chicago 🙁 But at least we’ll be some of the tannest in town

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October 19, 2009

I didn’t need a reminder that today was 5 months.  But then the date appeared in large bold characters across on the news this morning. 

5 months.  Yuck!  I actually can’t bring myself to write much about how I feel.  I don’t even want to dig into those thoughts; I just don’t want to go there if I don’t have to.

I had some friends over yesterday.  Our friends.  Friends with kids and kids on the way.  It’s impossible to keep from thinking about her and how she should have been there.  And how empty a feeling it is to be going through this without her.

That’s about all I’m going to say about that for now … for a few minutes anyways

Due to some electrical issues over the weekend we were without the TV in the family/playroom for about 24 hours.  You don’t realize how dependent you become on that stuff until it’s taken away.  E was not pleased.  It’s not like she sits in front of the TV, she doesn’t.  But it was more the idea of no TV that upset her.  I don’t think she had a great night sleep either so I’m sure that didn’t help.

It’s finally going to get above 60 degrees.  Normally October and even early Nov is tolerable.  I think we’re in the 3rd coldest or maybe the coldest Oct in the past 100 years … the coldest since 1876 they just said.  Yuck.  At least we can go without hats for a few days and hopefully get out and enjoy the semi-warmth.

I still can’t believe this is real.  Every day I wish I would just wake up from the nightmare.  It doesn’t get any easier, I think it’s just an increased feeling of numbness.  Some days are so extremely difficult that it makes any other day feel somewhat tolerable. 

A feeling of numbness – I don’t know a better way to describe it.  It’s like being stuck in a cloud.  It’s a challenge just to take a breath sometimes.  It doesn’t matter how many people are around to help either.  As soon as they leave it’s just me by myself again.  The 2am wakeup is my responsibility.  Doctor visits, baths, feedings, shopping, cleaning, whatever … it’s my responsibility.  It’s something I signed up for … but something that I went into knowing I wouldn’t be doing it alone.

5 months?  Man …..

At least we had a chance over the weekend to get dressed up in our halloween costume for Boo @ the Zoo

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