July 31st, 2009:

She was around before everything happened.  She and Cari worked together; that’s how they (we) met.  They had a blast together, especially at Bear’s games…we have plenty of pictures to prove it.   And she’s been a huge help since all this happened.  She’s probably been around more than anyone else besides family and she doesn’t seem to mind it one bit.  I totally appreciate it.  There’s no expectations, no demands, no uncomfortable situations…we’re fortunate to have her in our life…thank you!

I’m at camp today and it’s always a cluster the day camp opens.  Things don’t work, people forgot something at the office…you name it.  It turns out I was working on some code the day my life got turned upside down.  If you would have asked me this morning what I was working on that day, I would have never remembered.  The things I remember are the things I wish I could forget.  Nevertheless, that thing I was working on didn’t work today because it was basically a work in progress.  I didn’t realize what I was working on until I checked the file dates and source control check out dates this morning…May, 19 2009…my hell.  It’s been a little over 2 months.  I still can’t believe it happened.  I know now that I’m not going to wake up from this nightmare, it’s completely  100% real.  I hate when I’m reminded of it.   I didn’t expect today that I would be sitting at work and have to follow up on something I was working on that morning.  Maybe if I did exactly 1 thing different we wouldn’t be in this situation today…maybe.  But I’d go insane thinking about that because there’s no way I would know for sure.  🙁