August 24th, 2009:

Now that I say that I’m sure things will change…they almost always do.  But they’re both asleep and the temp is comfortable and … well, I’m missing her a lot.

I hit a brick wall at about 8:30 but for some reason an hour+ later I’m wide awake.  Last night I kept falling asleep while E was still awake.  She finally went to bed about an hour and a half later than usual.  She doesn’t like to go to bed on time lately.  I’ve had to invoke a little trickery.  Last night I told her I was going to get another bottle, tonight C was crying…she’s super smart so this won’t last but it’s working for now.

Caffeine has become my friend, but I don’t drink a ton.  I just need a quick pick me up.  I’m trying to get out and get some exercise.  I’m hoping it will help.  But nothing gets me going as quick as a little caffeine.

Today I biked for another 12-15 miles.  I’m not quite sure how far it was exactly.  It was for sure at least 12 but I haven’t mapped it out.  Biking is tough because it gives me time to think; primarily about her.  That’s about all I thought about for the hour or so I rode.  And doing stuff by myself isn’t high on my list but waiting around for someone to do it with me also isn’t high up there.  So I do it.  I need a bike rack though.  It’s not easy to try and get that thing in and out of the back of the car each time.

I miss u!

It has an amazing view.  The food and drinks were great…especially the desert cart.  And the people were fun and comforting at the same time. 

It was only the preseason so only the 1st couple of quarters mattered.  But they were promising to say the least.  Now again, it’s just the preseason but it was our 1st team against theirs.  Their defense couldn’t stop us and our defense stopped them.  The season couldn’t start soon enough.  JA promised me the super bowl so we’ll see!

It was cool to be in the suites to watch the game.  But the stands are really where the action is.  If the whole suite was filled with my friends, now that would be a different story.  But the stands are just insane.  You’ve got fans from both side of the ball so there’s always some rivalry out there too.  But the noise and the people out there make such a big difference.  It probably helps when it’s the regular season too.

That said, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to handle games this season.  I’m seriously contemplating skipping them all.  There’s way too many memories.  And this is way to fresh.  And I don’t want to be there with anyone but her.  As hard as it will be to skip the games and watch ’em from home, it will be a million times harder to be there without her trying to enjoy myself…that’s simply impossible.