We went to this place called the dinner club last night. It’s one of those places where you can order a bunch of meals, prepare them, then take ’em home and freeze them for later. My freezer is full now. I’m looking forward to nights of something other than mac & cheese, pasta, or jewel pizza. I had a couple of the burritos today and they were really good! But even though my freezer is full, it doesn’t change my situation…it only slightly lessens my burden.
I found myself as the only man in the whole place. But that didn’t matter. Just about everyone else was a mom with little kids. This place pretty much caters to mom’s; mom’s that don’t have extra time to make these kinds of things. Plus it’s a few hours away from everything else; a small amount of time to try and think about something other than the usual.
I spoke with a few of the women and one made reference to my wife. I could have just avoided the conversation but I decided to open up to her. She asked so I figured I would tell. She pointed at my wedding band and asked what that’s about. I told her what had happened. It was an emotional moment, for both of us, but I was able to pretty much hold my shit together. She was friendly, slightly older, but a genuine person. She certainly showed compassion. She asked how long it had been. I stopped keeping track of dates. Little did I realize that it was exactly 3 months.
3 months, really?
I still avoid the topic whenever possible. I picked up some mail the other day which an old friend of hers had sent. It made me cry. When I talk to my grief counselor I do my best to skirt around the topic.
And then there’s the thank you cards. They’ve been at the bottom of my list, but something I need to get through. I only have some 300+ to send out. But I’m going to get to them soon. I sent out a test card to make sure that the bracelets would make it to the destination in a regular card with regular postage. Hopefully they arrive w/out any issue.