General

I’m used to being woken in the middle of the night.  But not to a house that’s shaking. 

What is it?  Am I dreaming.  Are the kids alright?  Is it something in the house?  The furnace?  What do I do?  WTF!  What time is it?

I’m still kind of shaken by it. 

It’s a first.  I’ve never experienced one before.  And in Illinois you don’t expect to. 

So I still don’t know what’s going on … if it wasn’t an earthquake what was it?  An explosion?  Did something hit the house?  Shit, I don’t need this.

There’s a quarry not too far away so whenever they blast some dynamite the house does shake a little.  But it’s like 4am so that can’t be the case.  However, maybe the reason the house shook so much is due to the proximity to the quarry.  And it felt so real.  I stood on the floor and everything seemed to move.  The room is dark except for the hall light so I can’t see too much.

I can do without that again.

I have to say, I did question my sanity for a bit this morning.  I’m the only one who woke.  My kids wouldn’t be able to tell me anything about what they experienced and the dog didn’t move.  It certainly could have been all in my head …

Something woke me up a couple hours ago and the martin lawrence 1st amendment comedy show happened to be on.  It was pretty damn funny.  Black comedians making fun of pretty much everything possible.  So I watched the whole thing.  Then I couldn’t go back to sleep.  American Gangster was on next.  And then I realized American Gangster hand ended and 2+ hours had passed.  Shit!  So I got up and did some laundry.  What else is there to do.  I wouldn’t mind it if someone else were up with me right now. 

I should probably try to fall back asleep, shouldn’t I?

Those words describe a particular family member who last night decided, rather than talking to me, to text me some words that will forever effect our relationship.

They think, think being the operative word, that there’s more to a female friends relationship of mine than meets the eye.  There is not.  They have been told there’s not.  Yet they continue to pry.  I understand to an extent where they are coming from but this is ridiculous.

They are not doing anything to assist themselves with their grief and now they are throwing it on me.  The only shoulders I lean on are my friends, those who are impacted by the…ones who will in no way judge me, but rather just listen.  Certain family members apparently want to judge, want to offer their opinion, want to place their own other personal grief on the table.  That is not for me.  That’s not how I deal with it.

And to put words in writing, words that cannot be taken away, words that are extremely cruel … you truly have to be a mean person to do that.  Granted this person is grieving, but these are not the words of a grieving person.  Why is this person not doing something to help themselves, why is the family not doing something?   I can barely take care of my own issues.  I certainly cannot take care of others, other than my children, and I certainly cannot open myself up to the grief of someone else.

Do they expect me to act as if nothing happened?  They all live in the same house.  And this person in particular doesn’t even have a job.  This is where my kids go during the day while I work.  I have zero desire to go there now.  I have dealt with her immaturity in the past, but she has far surpassed my level of tolerance.

As if I needed this.

A random neighbor stopped by the other day.   When we decided to move to the burbs, we should have focused on neighborhoods with young couples and kids, but instead we ended up in an area with mostly older couples.  This guy, however, had a couple of elementary school age girls.  We invited them over for a party or two before but they never came. 

So he stopped by the other day and asked if I had any use for a picnic table for the kids.   Sure.  I can’t pass up a free-bee.  But then he preceded to tell me the reason for him offering it to us.  He recently got divorced…oh yeah, that’s exactly the news that I want to hear about.  Why couldn’t he just say here’s a picnic table for you.  No, he had to throw his issues on my table too…because it must appear that I have room on my table for someone else’s grief!?

I finally purchased a bike seat.  I found it on craigslist…that site rocks but it was way cooler before it got so popular.  Once it hit mainstream, sure you could find more on it, it meant there were more people looking and more b.s.posts.  Nevertheless, I found a topeak bike seat that normally sells for close to $200 for $50 including rack.  I also found my last two jobs on craigslist so I’m not going to bash the site…just some of the people who use it.

Yesterday was my first day on the bike in a while. 

Cari and I both bought Trek mountain bikes when we lived in the city.  We used them often until we had the kiddies when we became busy with other stuff.  But we expected this year to definitely pick things up especially since E is now big enough to ride in a seat.  I would be pushing C in a jogging stroller while I rollerbladed.  And E would have been in the bike seat with Cari.

Oh, and why is it that your butt hurts so bad when you ride for the first time?  I went again today and I need some tylenol…now!  Yesterday I rode into LaGrange Park and today I went a little further; through countryside, into burr ridge, north through hinsdale, and then back through western springs and lagrange.  I love Hinsdale, btw…maybe some day.  It felt like 15 miles but it was more like 10.  It’s about time the weather here has turned around…it feels like summer…finally, but too bad it’s getting close to being over.

So with the purchase of the bike seat, that means that I’m going to be taking E for some rides.  She saw the seat the other day and then got super excited and when she came home yesterday as I had the seat on the bike.  She insisted we go for a ride.  The seat came without directions so I had to try a few times to get it on there right but I finally did. 

It’s not very easy to get her on there and hold the bike and all that at the same time.  The kick stand no longer holds both the bike and E in the seat so it’s necessary to hold onto it all time. 

This was also the first time I ever rode with a bike seat so I was a bit worried about falling, but we did fine.  We rode around the block a few times.  I would ask E, who is just 2 1/2, which way she wanted to go and she’d tell me “this way” or “that way”.  Mind you she’s behind me so I can’t tell which direction she wants to go.  So I’d say, do you want me to go left or right.  She would amazingly say one or the other and at the same time she would be pointing in that exact same direction.  She’s one smart kid.

Speaking of smart…

So there’s some e-mail blast Cari signed up for that I took over.  Just this week it lists what your child should be doing at this age and what you should expect in the months to come.  Maybe I’m a biased although I don’t think I am, but she’s well above all of the things she listed.  Today she drew a letter E and then a cross.  Her vocabulary is extraordinary.  She’s been speaking in full sentences for a while.  I love this little girl and can’t wait til C gets to this point too.