Cari

Today was a tough

We laid to rest my daughter’s best friend’s mom

Ellie probably spends more time at their house than ours, or at least pretty close

They opened their doors to her and considered her family, her 2nd family

She would sleep over there, play games with the family, spend time at the grandparents, go out to dinner and on the night before she passed Ellie and the family fell asleep on the couch watching their moms favorite movie

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This loss is tough for me, yes, a bit because of Cari but really that’s not the main reason. Still, these past two days especially brought back a lot

This loss is tough for me because of how close Ellie was to this family

This loss is tough for me because it’s a mom

This loss is tough for me because I can relate to the dad

This loss is tough for me because it highlights our own longevity and that death is a certainty for all of us and how we just never know when it will happen

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I wasn’t planning to spend the entire day at the wake, but I did, except when I left to grab some food which also turned into a short nap (we drove 4+ hours from a softball tournament in the morning)

After the funeral service at the church, I wasn’t planning to go to the burial, but I did. I wasn’t planning to go to the luncheon either, but I did.

Her dad stopped me on the way out of the church and asked me to come. I certainly wasn’t going to say no. I’m glad I went. I’m glad I went for me and for him and for Ellie.

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I sat next to her dad at the luncheon, not necessarily on purpose, that’s just what happened. We talked quite a bit. I listened, mostly, but opened up about some of own experiences.

I imagine there will be more of these conversations. For him, but also for me

There’s just something about this one, it hits really close to home

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A butterfly landed near us at the burial.

A song was played at the cardinals game Friday.

There are so many things that happen with death, it can’t just be a coincidence.

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Besides that, we wrapped up another weekend of softball, this time in a very hot and humid St. Louis. I sent Carson off to WV to go white water rafting on the New River (I’m slightly jealous). She leaves for a youth group camp next Tuesday after one more tournament. Then a week+ at the lake. And shortly after that football starts and then school and summer’s almost over.

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We visited the University of Iowa and University of Wisconsin Madison recently. I’m not sure what’s up next but college is approaching fast!

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Our garden is growing. We produced over 100 white round potatoes already. We’re also growing a variety of tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchini, 2 varieties of lettuce, jalapenos, banana peppers, garlic, onion, cilantro, pea pods, green beans, dill, basil and I think we have a random pumpkin out there too.

Unfortunately we’ve had a lot of rain lately so I’m not sure how much we’ll yield this year, especially the cucumbers and zucchini.

I covered the ground with mulch this year and fed the new plants some bone/blood meal. The mulch does help with the weeds. The mosquitos are awful. The rain, however, has been either too much or too little and the heat/humidity is sometimes unbearable. Last year was too wet. So we’ll see. I also have a rabbit that keeps getting in. I thought I got it out but just today I saw it again 🙁

Until next time …

A lot of months have passed by since my last post.

He turned 15 and she’s 17.

He has his driving permit and she’s focusing in on her college choices.

He played football in the fall, wrestled in the winter and is trying out for volleyball shortly. He played WR and KR/PR for most of the season on the Freshman B team, seeing it was his first season playing. It was a really good place for him as he saw a lot of time on the field and is very excited for next year. Wrestling was a first for him too. And although his team was filled with a lot of experienced kids he still went out and worked hard all season, picking up a few wins.

She’s playing softball year round and is currently on a travel team with a few of her HS teammates. HS tryouts is happening next week. She found a new pitching coach recently and her improvement was quick and noticeable. I’m looking forward to the upcoming season 🙂

Over christmas break we went skiing and snowboarding in Telluride. The views were amazing. Pricey for sure but an awesome experience. It was their first trip out west and she expressed interest in going out that way again. She skied the whole time. He snowboarded and skied but his foot was bothering him so he skipped a day while the rest of us went 4 straight days (next time we need a rest day for sure). I twisted my knee on day one but wrapped it and kept on going. It still hurts. I need to head to the doctor soon.

He took aviation in the fall but moved onto small motors in the spring. I think he enjoys the latter more.

She’s in a bunch of AP and advanced classes, well beyond much of anything I can help with. She’s doing really good in school despite balancing sports, work, friends and everything in between.

This past weekend we went to Chestnut for a day. She tried snowboarding but switched back to skis after a couple runs. It’s not an easy sport to pick up. Plus the snow wasn’t great.

While we were away for the weekend he stayed with his cousins and is pretty sure they got him sick, although he doesn’t seem so bad today. Me on the other hand, I spent most of the weekend clearing leaves at the lake house that we didn’t get out there to deal with in the fall, big mistake. I also patched a bunch of drywall and started prepping to paint the interior. I’m actually hoping to paint both the inside and outside this year (we’ll see). The ceilings in the house are crazy high so I’ll need scaffolding to get into some of those areas.

Work is, well I’d rather be working part time again instead. The pay is better and guaranteed but somehow I seem to still work paycheck to paycheck. Maybe these kids have just gotten really expensive. I’m thankful for the job though as it allows us to do just about anything. Hopefully another few months or so and I’ll feel more financially sound.

In the meantime I’m trying to get him through scouting. It’s a challenge. He’s not super motivated but we talk often about advancing. This Sunday he meets to wrap up an Eagle scout merit badge which will finish Star rank for him. Then he just needs to get some more Eagle scout merit badges (it seriously isn’t that much work). I’m hoping he completes it.

Until next time …

I now have 2 high schoolers!

I don’t think time is flying by but a lot of years have passed

He started summer football camp at his high school with plans to join the team this fall. And then maybe wrestling or something else in the winter and probably volleyball in the spring.

Whereas some parents might push their kids in a certain direction I believe it’s best to let them decide, support their decision, but give them guidance when and where ever it’s needed.

If football is where he wants to be. I 100% support it. Sure, joining the golf team would be my first choice (although competing against the country club kids is probably difficult). Soccer would be okay too, as he’s played for many years and has become a really good defender. But in just the few days of practice he’s been to, it’s great to see him excited about the sport. I’m looking forward to where it takes him.

She continues to be involved in softball. One tournament mid week this week, then a tournament this weekend followed by a few friendly games and that’s it for the season. Her team travels to nationals in FL but unfortunately she had a conflict and won’t be attending. She’ll be at camp instead, something she was very much looking forward to.

Soon she will likely join a new travel team, mostly because her current team is not continuing on. Most likely she’ll end up with her current coach on his new team. Fortunately, she really likes playing for him. She referred to him as the best coach she’s had 🙂 It will be the next level up from where we are now but if she’s going to pitch varsity next Spring, playing up a level in the fall probably won’t hurt.

She’s also nannying for a neighbor this summer, so she’s super busy. Plus taking a summer school class, online.

This week I worked on-call for my job. It’s the biggest drawback of the job. It was a weekend where we probably would have been on the water but instead were stuck at home. Fortunately it’s over in a couple days and I won’t have to deal with it for another few months. It’s a good job, I don’t think I’ll leave it any time soon, but ironically enough I have been approached but a couple organizations recently, interested in me joining them in the near future. Nothing is certain but I’ll entertain the options. I miss the consulting life but am enjoying the benefits of the full time job. It’s a dilemma I’m not going to complain about.

Next week he’s off to camp. Then a few days at the lake. A week later he’s off to a high adventure camp in FL and she leaves for her camp around then as well. For me I think I’ll be at the lake that weekend, hopefully on the water fishing as much as possible!

I don’t even know how long my site here was hacked. Ugh. What a bunch of garbage this CMS is … hopefully I finally cleaned it all up. But what if you’re not technical? How would you even know what to do first?

So I’m sitting here counting down the minutes to push a button in order to deploy a software release for my job. Oh so I miss the days of part time work consulting. How I survived financially, I have no idea. Hopefully I’m starting to see a light at the end of the debt tunnel I unfortunately created after a year of trying to help a startup get off the ground and dabbling in my own venture. Maybe I’ll be able to revisit those things in the not too distant future, without the financial burden portion, that is.

The high school softball season has been a bumpy ride so far. Mostly riding the bench on the varsity team. It’s tough. She’s good and getting better. But the varsity batters are good too, often times really good. So she’s down on JV for a period of time. Which I think is good for her. It gives her a ton more mound time. She still faces talented girls, just not always as talented. So she’s still challenged but also able to have some successes too. I’d really like to see her bat, which hasn’t happened yet. Maybe over these next couple of games I hope.

Grandma hurt her back a couple weeks ago and now needs surgery. That sucks. It really sucks. Getting old blows. I can tell he’s concerned. I’m sure the outcome will be fine but there will be a day when someone in the family passes away and I am so not looking forward to that. I try to instill in these kids not to take any day for granted. I think they understand. But they are still kids and do kids things and want to play their sports and hang out with their friends. Yet every day I ask them, did you talk to Grandma, did you call her, text her? No? Then please reach out. If anything just to say hi.

I wish the time tonight would move a little quicker … 22 minutes until I get to press the button and go to bed…

Learning to drive. I’m not sure there’s any great way to prepare oneself for all that’s involved. Ultimately I think it has so much more to do with the other drivers (aka maniac, distracted, angry, ignorant drivers, to name just a few). Practicing in the parking lot and the side roads of an industrial park, that was pretty easy. Getting onto a packed expressway … an entirely different experience. There was that one time we might have forgotten about a stop sign because we were paying attention to the bikers. Or not realizing the road curved slightly and nudging the curb a bit. Or when the light turned yellow while we were waiting to turn across traffic and that car way way back there decided to floor it and try to make the light …. oh man. But now she’s legal. She did awesome on her test. Yesterday she took her brother to get Andy’s and today drove some friends to a baseball game.

When your 14 year old who has been doing this for 6 years straight decides he wants to raise $ and shave his head again to support a cause, you can’t be any prouder. He even motivated a friend to do the same (he’s the guy in the background). He’s raised no less than $500 each year too. He rocks!

And while I do not have photos for this yet, she recently made the Varsity Softball team as a Sophomore and he made the 8th Jr High Volleyball team. Both tryouts were highly competitive so I’m super proud of both. Since playing on the Freshman team last spring she’s played continuously through the year and has grown a ton. And despite a few rainouts to start the season I’m really looking forward to the next 2 months of games. He’s been playing club volleyball since the fall and may have also grown 6″ during that same time. He’s also gained a ton of strength thru Taekwondo and weight lifting at home. It’s going to be tough to balance all these games but this is my life 🙂