It’s like I”m ready to burst at the slightest hint that the topic will come up.
Day 1…Minutes after arriving for the rehearsal of my brothers wedding, I stood in place as his best man and couldn’t hold it together. I wanted so badly to have the strength to make it through but it only took a few words from the coordinator for me to lose it. I wanted to pull it together but as soon as the flood gates opened there was no stopping it. The only comfort was knowing that this is the rehearsal and not the actual wedding. I don’t know if it was the topic of rings or the words being spoken but it was a very difficult moment for me. One that despite the purpose of the event, I am glad is done and over.
Day 2, the actual wedding…am I prepared, will I hold myself together, can I actually give a speech? Besides the fact that she’s on my mind constantly, there’s rarely a time when she isn’t, now I have to face something that is going to be a very emotional time for me. We only went through this same process barely 3 years ago. I surely didn’t expect to be in this situation today. I didn’t ask for it. So it’s wedding time. Somehow the bridal party ended up in their seats before they should have sat. I’m not sure what the mixup was, but it probably proved beneficial as I was thrown off when it came time to deliver the rings. I also made sure I hardly paid attention to any of the words being spoken. I focused more on my daughter behind me that kept asking for pretzels and did some picture taking for us (she’s pretty good for 2 1/2…actually she’s amazing!). Anyways, the wedding portion is over but now I need a beer…maybe two or three.
It’s, btw, the hottest day of the summer and we’re stuck in tuxes. And by hot I mean as soon as you step out the door sweat is rolling down your face. Maybe because of the heat I just didn’t have enough energy to be sad. As soon as I heard they were doing a August wedding I thought they were nuts. We did ours in Mexico but planned it later in the day about the time the sun was setting and we didn’t have tuxedos so it was very tolerable. Plus it was december so the max temp was somewhere in the 80’s during the day with limited humidity. Nevertheless, I can’t believe how hot it was. Picture time was the worst. I’m sure they focused in on the beads of sweat rolling down my face.
Now it’s time to think about my speech. I have nothing written. The maid of honor has about 10 note cards. I have none. Uh oh. And actually I had nothing planned. I didn’t want to think about it, nor was even prepared to get up there. But I did. The night before at dinner we had a quick conversation about the place we met our significant others. One couple met while working at a fast food restaurant. My brother met in the morning following a late night of extra curricular activities at school. Mine, I met a local festival and actually met her sister first ;). So then I got to thinking…maybe we are somewhat responsible for the eventual meeting of my brother and new sister in law. Many years ago before he could legally drink, we went to the house of blues for a swinging lovehammers show. My wife could be pretty persuasive (hence the conversation the night before we lost her where I told her that her next job needed to be in sales). So, every time we gave by brother a beer, because he wasn’t quite 21, he slammed the whole thing a few seconds. Before we knew it at least a six pack was gone. So could our little activity in the city that night have resulted in the eventual meeting of these two love birds??? Perhaps. So that was the gist of my speech. I prepped with some shots and a few beers but I did it. I think I sounded somewhat articulate and I was told it sounded good, but who cares…it’s done.
I wish she was there with us. The drive home the next day, by myself with carson, was extremely difficult.