I need you every day but today I def need you here
I’m not sure how all of this is going to pan out, but here’s the deal.
You and I always talked about the day that something like this might happen and I really wish you were here for me (us) right now.
About 2 weeks ago someone at the organization got fired. It was a big WOW! Figured he would go at some point but on his own terms. Then today came a voice mail (and an e-mail too) that my superior is also gone (I’m not sure if it was on his terms or if he was kicked to the curb as well).
Am I next??? Can I be??? (semi-serious there)
What to do … FUCK! … sorry! SHIT DAMN FUCK is more like it … 🙂
Can I really be in position to take over IT for a major company? Wow! Absolutely HORRIBLE timing. WTF!
Of course I can do it. But am I mentally capable of handling it today? What’s it worth to me? I know what WE would do. You would support me 100%. We may or may not have moved but you would have been there for me completely. Now it’s not so much about me. It’s about our little ones. I don’t really need the money (although if I make any sort of move they better give it to me). I also definitely don’t need the stress. I certainly don’t want to take over the role that he created.
So what???
Well, I have some thinking to do …
But who am I kidding I’ve already thought about it plenty. 3 days in the office. 2 days at home. 50% pay raise. Re-evaluate role of IT in the organization. Hire N number of necessary employees to fill needed roles. If more than 3 days in the office, sell my house, cover any losses, pay for down payment on new house. I’ve got plenty more demands.
But about me … can I handle it??? I don’t know. I’m kind of a mess … kind of really a mess. Seriously … a bit of a mess 🙂
I love you baby. I just don’t understand why we are here today. You would be so excited at the prospect of this opportunity for us. I want so bad to share it with you. I miss u more than anything.
…oh, and i’ve dreamt about you a bit lately. thank you!