From the mouth of my precious lil girl while emptying our christmas stockings …
“Mommy will do her’s [stocking] when she gets back.”
“Can we open Mommy’s now?”
Of course Mommy’s was empty. Should it have been? That was one of, if not the hardest single moment of the past week.
Sitting at the kitchen table at her cousins, her sister sat across from me while trying on a new hat. For whatever reason she looked so much like Cari. I had to get up and walk away. Another difficult experience.
And then there was (in no particular order) …
Wrapping presents; Purchasing them; Putting them under the tree christmas eve night after the kids were asleep; Getting E excited about the night; Cookies & milk for Santa; all of … Christmas eve; Christmas morning; Christmas day; Christmas night, Cookie party, Pictures with Santa;
Then on top of it all I think E is really feeling the loss of that significant and very important part of her life. She needs her Mommy. Her imagination is incredibly advanced, I think anyways. She has a lot of aunties and other females around but not a single Mommy. It’s hard to describe but you can tell by the way she talks that she is serious need of someone, some single person, in that role. She wants to pretend that someone is her Mommy … “Are you my Mommy?” she says over and over again.
And just now …
It’s impossible to hold back the tears while writing this. E came over to me and said (in her sweat innocent little voice), “Oh, why are you crying Daddy.” “Because I miss Mommy” … She says, “I miss Mommy too.”
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention … the kids were sick the entire week of christmas … and they’re still sick today.
Anyways, here are some pix …
