It’s something I know I need, we need, but it’s so easily avoidable. It’s sort of like going to the gym. The hard part is just getting yourself into the car. Once you get there you’re glad you went.
So I somewhat randomly picked a person that I felt would best suit our situation. You might be referred to organizations but it’s really just like opening the yellow pages, selecting a name and seeing what happens. I was really just taking a chance and knew going in there that if I didn’t like them that I would just move on to someone else. I was really surprised by some of the topics discussed / comments made during this initial meeting.
I went in there primarily for guidance; guidance for me, my kids, and the family. One of the first things that was said to me was a comparison between my situation and another somewhat similar situation where the mother had passed from an anurism and the father had severe depression before and after the incident. I found it rather uncomfortable that the therapist was using the example of another patient. What if I knew of this patient? Is she now going to use our situation as an example to others? I let it go and hoped she would focus more on what to do rather than describing the pain of others. However, after a number of additional, somewhat detailed, examples I asked her to stop bringing the issues of others into our conversation. By this point I was completely uncomfortable and ready to leave her office. Even after I asked her to stop with the examples, one of the last things she said had to do with her sister’s loss. Again, what if I knew her sister? Needless-to-say I’m not going back there again. If she said those things to me I can’t imagine what she’d say to my kids.
She did, however, offer some seemingly good advice so it wasn’t a complete waste of time.