It was 2:23am-ish, I’m sort of guessing, when C woke up crying. He had a fever on and off earlier in the day. Not sure what’s going on w/him, maybe a tooth (teeth), but it made me realize a couple of things; our thermometer sucks and because we haven’t had to deal with fevers up to this point I really have no idea how to treat them (other than with tylenol). When does warm become too warm? When do I need to do something more than trying some fever reducing meds? What’s the cause? Could it be the meds he has been taking for his ear infection? If so, why now? Is it something else?
My mom brought over a new thermometer tonight. It’s the kind that you scan across the forehead. It seems to work well. He registered fine earlier in the night but when he woke up an hour or so ago I tried it again and he is definitely warm. I fed him a bottle and stripped him down to this onesie. He’s down again for now … knock on wood. But I’m hearing some noises so this might not last.
Things weren’t as simple as they might have appeared though (although a 2:30am wakeup call from a sick child is certainly far from simple). About 5 minutes after C woke me, the other one started crying too. I’m not sure if this is the first time they have needed me at the same time. I probably repress any such memories anyways since it’s some of the most difficult moments ever. How do you address both their needs at the same time? It’s impossible. One stops crying for just long enough to check on the other … and then repeat. And all the while I think about Cari … which makes it even that much more difficult to get through.
They’re down now though. For the moment anyways. And of course I have to go into the office tomorrow. I have to drive an hour+ to sit and do the same thing I would do at home. Makes sense, right? Whatever! Their checks haven’t bounced yet and I’m still getting them. On days like these, on days when I would just rather spend time with the kids, it would be helpful to not have to work.
I never stop thinking about you. I needed you tonight … I really needed need you. I miss you.