November, 2009:

E is still sick but hopefully recovering.  Thankfully it seems like whatever it is hasn’t passed on to the rest of us … knock on wood.  It’s been a difficult few days.  Fortunately lil guy is at the in-laws giving me one less thing to worry about.

I’m at home today, like usual, but E is here with me.  We went out for a little to take care of some random errands.  An hour or so later I received a message from a friend.  She said her sister left a cooler of dinners outside my door.  The cooler contained a couple fresh, ready to cook, meals and a few frozen “fresh” dinners. 

Nearly 6 months later, with the pain so real yet just not quite as fresh, for someone, anyone, to go out of their way like this … means so much to me.

It’s hard to come up with the words to describe what she did.

I rarely ask for help.  I’m set on getting through as much of this as I can.  These last few days, with a sick lil one, have been very difficult.  It’s one thing to have a sick child but another to be doing it on your own and living with this grief. 

Nearly 6 months later.  All those people who said … anything you need.  All those people who appeared to care (of course some really do) … have gone back to their ‘regular’ lives.  From all those people … there’s this one and the others who have went way above what is expected.  For you, for all the others … thank you!

A belly ache.  A fever.  A friend visited last night.  I hope we didn’t either get this from them … or worse give it to them.   We talked about the flu, getting those shots that are talked about all over the media and a recent illness her son had.  How he had thrown up a few times but thankfully he hadn’t eaten that much at the time.  I told her that we’ve yet to experience that here.  Then sure enough, as if I was asking for it to happen to us, E did the same thing as we prepared for bed.

She complained of a belly ache which I, at the time, associated it to going potty.  A few minutes later we discovered that was indeed not the problem.  🙁

Of course then I begin to worry.  One of my bigger fears began to unfold.  For some reason, perhaps the same, C won’t fall asleep and E is obviously not feeling well.  I’m alone.  It’s 8.30ish.  Nobody lives near.  The few people I called either can’t come over or won’t answer the phone.  Shit!

I really do try to keep the kids away from appearant signs of illness.  So where did this come from?  Soccer?  Family?  Friends?  Me?  And now what do I do about it?

It’s one thing to have a team of people at times like this and another to be alone.  I really need that team.  The one friend I spoke with would have come over, she even offered, had she not already gone out for the night.  My P’s won’t answer the phone or my texts.  It sucks to have to pick up the phone to call for help.  I need it right here, available at a seconds notice.  I don’t mind taking care of one, but dealing with 2 at the same time …

So it’s morning and we’re still fighting the fever.  C left with grandma for a little while.  This isn’t easy